Recap…the Holy Spirit whispered “real estate” to me.
Honestly, I didn’t think too much about it and didn’t realize at the time that it was the Holy Spirit. I didn’t even mention it to Mark. But, that same weekend we went to the dunes at Silver Lake with friends and all our kids. We stopped at Fricano’s in Muskegon for dinner on the way home. Over delicious pizza my friend asked how work was going, so I was explaining some of my frustrations. She said, “You should be a realtor. You’d be great at it.” She and her husband are have been realtors for a while but neither one had said anything to me about becoming a realtor up until this point. I didn’t tell her about the words I heard from the Holy Spirit just two days before.
In the truck on the way home, I said to Mark “Did you hear her say that I should be a realtor?” He said, get this, “I had that same thought yesterday but I didn’t say anything to you.” So I said, “I had that thought given to me on Friday!” My jaw was dropped. I was stunned. So was Mark. Hello, God!
So I pulled a Gideon (Look up Gideon in the Bible starting in Judges 6. He kept asking for signs from God as confirmations about the scary and difficult things God was asking him to do). I asked God to give me a dream about real estate if He wanted me to pursue this. What happened that night? You guessed it. I dreamt I was becoming a realtor. The next night, Mark dreamt that I WAS a realtor. Are you serious!!
Needless to say, I was amazed and terrified. This was clearly God speaking to me. But what He was asking me to do…quit my steady job, one that I loved, a job that was consistent, that I didn’t have to take home with me, I felt appreciated as a part of the team, worked with team members and residents that I loved, I was surrounded by people all day which filled my need to be in relationship with others. But…I didn’t have much time with my kids. Working every day all day away from home was getting to be too much for me. The school year wasn’t too bad, but summer was tough. They would ask, “Mom, do you have to work? Can’t you stay home?” (heartbreak).
Enter all the fears and worries which, as I look back now, all have an underlying theme—security…or maybe insecurity is a better way to put it. Yes, financial and personal insecurities. To become a realtor would mean I would have no income guaranteed. It would probably be at least 4-5 months before I would earn a commission. It felt like there were already so many realtors out there why would anyone pick me over someone else? What if I royally mess up and get sued? What if I don’t make any money? What if I am not good at it? What if I don’t like it? What if something happens to Mark and he can’t work and I don’t have a guaranteed income? Both of us would be self-employed and it felt risky. SO. MANY. FEARS.
But I KNEW. I KNEW God was calling me to this. I KNEW He was telling me to be a realtor. I couldn’t ignore it. But, then I’d have a really great day at work and I’d question it. One day I was having an internal struggle and my boss came to me and told me some encouragement about my work. He didn’t know that I was on the road to putting in my resignation at that time. I thought, “God, what are you doing?! Are you testing me, to see if I will stick to your will for me no matter what?” I think He was.
Whenever I was quiet, that was when the Holy Spirit spoke to me. As 1 Kings 19:12 talks about, He wasn’t in the loud winds, He wasn’t in the in-your-face earthquakes of life…He was, is, the gentle whisper.
That still small voice was louder than anything else shouting at me.
We took our little fishing boat out quite often that summer. It’s brown and sparkly with brown carpet, straight outta the ’80s, or maybe ’70s–a real beauty. We love it. Anyway, one Saturday in September we put in at the Grand River Park and went up the Grand River to the gravel pits to swim. As we made our way back to Grand River Park later that afternoon the weather was warm, the water was calm, everything was quiet and peaceful and beautiful. I was praying again, “God, I’m sorry but I need more assurance. Is that okay? Can you keep reminding me that this is a calling from you? That this change is the right thing for me?” There on the water, I felt peace. So much peace…
(Check back soon for Part 3)
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